FOMO

This past weekend I got to spend some time with a few of my good friends, one engaged and the others in very serious relationships. We got to talking about our paths to our relationships and interestingly enough one major theme stuck out- before we had met this significant other person we had stepped off the social butterfly track and had become really comfortable spending nights at home alone.

The story was pretty similar for every one of us. Each of us had our time being young and new to the city. The beginning entailed lots of nights out meeting new people and going to every event that you had been invited to. Then, after the initial newness of this phase wore off, dissatisfaction began to creep in.

Our circles got smaller.

We stopped going to every huge party. We no longer wanted to attend everything and anything. Missing one of the seven, hundred person Christmas parties did not incite the same type of fear it used to. Suddenly, we were choosing to spend a Friday night in reading or working on something we enjoyed because we wanted to.

We left the stage of FOMO (fear of missing out), stopped caring whether we were seen at these events, and stayed home.

… And it was at this point in the story that we met that special person.

Looking back, this should not be surprising. We all matured enough to value actual relationships instead of just being out and about in the city. Being in a relationship requires a lot of missing out. Choosing to be with one person means that you have chosen to step away from all the other options you potentially could have.  It means sometimes missing out on things we want to do in exchange for being there for your partner.

Chose anything and it means you will miss out.

God knows our hearts so deeply that I truly believe He did not bless me with the gift of Matt until He knew that I could make sacrificial decisions. I think He needed to know that my heart was no longer to be in Chicago Social and was ready for the less glamorous but more life giving option that we are actually created for.

Choosing to be in true life giving relationships romantically or otherwise often requires missing out on potentially fun things in exchange for your attention and dedication to that person. It is the Gospel in play. Jesus didn’t use his influence to garner attention on the Corinth social scene. He died on a cross for you and me. He did not have to. He chose to. He missed out on a lot for you and I.

Actual relationships require stepping away from the excitement of what might be, into the beautiful deepness of what is. 

You say no to a whole lot of nothing to say yes to what actually matters and find that you missed out on nothing.